The Blue Wife

Three days of administrative leave turned in to much more.  I should have known that all of that couldn't have been wrapped up in three days' time.  It was ten days before he was permitted to return to work.  There was a lot involved in the meantime.  The hardest part for him was the BCI interview where he had to watch the body cam video for the first time.  He said he eventually asked them to turn it off. During those ten days, he practically went stir crazy.  He's a busybody who works a lot of side jobs.  He's antsy and he doesn't like to sit idle.  He doesn't have a lot of hobbies because work is his hobby.  He played Nintendo bowling with the kids and I tried to take him out whenever I could.  Fortunately, I had some days off work.  The Chief, knowing his personality, allowed him to come into the station and do some clerical work or just hang out.  That helped tremendously. By this time, word was starting to get out about t...

It was a bad day.  I got a call from my husband while he was on duty.  He was stumbling over his words a little, yet he was relatively calm.  He managed to tell me that they had had a bad day.  "We had to shoot and kill someone," he said.  Dreaded words I never wanted to hear.  He proceed to instruct that no one contact him for the remainder of the day.  That's all he gave me, then he hung up.   No details.   I sent a group text message to my extended family members, asking for prayer.  I told them not to contact him and relayed that there had been a police-initiated shooting.  I told them I had no more details.   For four hours, I nervously paced my home.  I cleaned.  I walked.  I fixed my hair, just in case.  I checked his location about a thousand times.  For a while, he was in a spot in the middle of town.  Obviously, that's where it happened.  Then he was at the station for...

Badge Bunnies.   Have you ever heard of them?  If you're a fellow police wife, I bet you have.  Badge Bunnies are women who throw themselves at officers because they are attracted to the uniform and the power it conveys.  They don't care if the man is married; they want what they want.   I first learned the effect of Badge Bunnies when I realized the prevalence of divorced police officers.  Friends, the number is high .  It alarmed me right from the start and I expressed this concern to my husband.  He assured me there was no reason for me to fear.  I told him not to be so confident; he was only human, after all. When he was just starting The Force, it happened to his best friend.  A dispatcher got him.  It was so sad because we were very torn.  This was the man who got him into the field and helped him get hired.  We were close with the couple and had been to their home.  Our kids were friends and we had a histo...

  The next hurdle was being a cop wife through the pandemic.  Remember when cops were heroes ?  Not any more.  They were viewed by many as racist pigs and were hated by a growing percentage of the population.  My family suddenly had targets on their backs.  My children were harassed at school.  Seriously.  My daughter was bullied on her tennis team by girls with BLM bracelets and stickers on their Hydroflasks.  (In case you were wondering, they were all white girls.) We removed any Thin Blue Line evidence from our cars and homes.  We watched our backs and took caution wherever we went.  We lived in fear.  Thankfully, our suburban town didn't get too out of hand.  Although, one day as my husband was arresting a person, the man said, "I know where you live.  You live over by..." and he named a landmark very near our home.  The man made a threat to my husband that was very scary.   Social media was domin...

There should be a mandatory support group for all wives of police officers.   I knew there would be worry involved; I didn't realize my role would be quite this difficult. My husband joined the force late in life.  He had already enjoyed a pretty successful career that just didn't work out at the very end.  He joined the force part-time, and it suddenly turned into a full-time career.  I remember our joint interview that took place at the dining room table in our home.  I was asked how I felt about his new career choice.  I replied that I was proud.  I had peace.  The first time I saw him in that uniform, I beamed with pride and burst with excitement.  I was elated for him; he was living his dream. The first hurdle to overcome was single parenting.  Of course, rookies are stuck on the worst shift.  He missed church services, band concerts, parent-teacher conferences, and bedtime stories.  I waited up for him at night to kiss h...